Thanks to you Facebook friends for jumping over here! While studying God’s Word this week, and dealing with another dose of fear/anxiety, I came across something that really spoke to me. I’m sure some of you have read this scripture before, and hopefully some of you can help me better understand it.
Most of you know I had a heart attack back on 10/29/11, 100% blocked left anterior descending artery (AKA “the widow maker”). 2012 was the worst year of my life. Went to the ER three times (once while on vacation) because I thought I was having another heart attack. Those are the thoughts of lots of people who suffer from anxiety or panic attacks. Chest pains that mimic heart attacks.
To make a long story short, I went to healing prayer and have had a much better past four months. I have only had less than a handful of smaller bouts with anxiety, compared to fighting it daily – leaving my job – not bringing in money for maybe a week at a time while working from home. Lots of people always tell me that God isn’t the bearer of trouble (but satan is). Same questions people ask when things like 9/11 or Hurricane Katrina hit and mess with the lives of every type of people.
I truly believe that God allows things to happen like that, how can you not. If He doesn’t have everything under control, He would not be God. I believe He had my heart attack under control, that it was part of His plan. Sure, like a parent, He didn’t enjoy handing it to me…..but there was a reason for it. I can actually sit here today and thank Him for letting it happen. He knows why.
So I come across 1 Samuel 16 this week, where it shares (starting in verses 14-16) that “Now the Spirit of the Lord departed from Saul, and a harmful spirit from the Lord tormented him. And Saul’s servants said to him, “Behold now, a harmful spirit from God is tormenting you. 16Let our lord now command your servants who are before you to seek out a man who is skillful in playing the lyre, and when the harmful spirit from God is upon you, he will play it, and you will be well.”
God has control of harmful spirits? Even though I’ve been in the church for most of my life, this seriously knocked me over. One thing that has really helped me fight these physical pains and smaller attacks that I sometimes get is listening to instrumental music. Kind of ironic that Saul ended being put at ease by David playing the harp for him? I also believe that God has a plan through all of this, and part of me is not obeying or listening to more of what God is saying.
This week I have started to wonder if maybe that’s why I am in the position I am in. I know God wants my attention, but is He really hurting me until He gets all of it? Like Saul, I know God is using me at the moment. But I guess that doesn’t mean He won’t use both the good and the bad for His glory in my life.
Thanks for decided to come over and read this, I’d be glad to hear your thoughts in the comments below – and discuss it with you. My prayer is that we are all chasing after the plans God has for us, through the best and worst moments in life. Thanks!!!